Around the Kitchen Table: Changing times in the kitchen

We ate supper every evening as a family, sometimes joined by drop-in visitors or extended family. Mama spent many hours preparing home-cooked meals and there was usually plenty to go around, but sometimes, when it looked as if we would be short a helping or two, Mama would excuse herself from the table in feigned busyness.

When I was older, I realized she was making sure there would be enough to go around, even if that meant she would eat a cold sandwich after our guests had left. A couple of times, I saw her put a saucer in the cabinet with a piece of fried chicken or steak on it and I wondered why she didn’t do that every time. Then, I became a mom and understood.

There are a lot of things that only become clearer as we get older. The familiar adage “You won’t understand until you’ve been there” is true when it comes to what we see as important in retrospect. Looking around at where we are compared to 50 years ago not only makes me wonder about our culture as a whole but where these trends are taking us.

Things seem to be a bit upside-down when I look at the proliferation of cooking shows and kitchen/cooking websites and yet we are spending less time in the preparation of meals. There was a brief spike of interest in home cooking and baking during COVID, but since then, it’s mostly leveled out.

According to some surveys, people are spending 37 to 54 minutes a day in meal preparation (food prep, serving and cleaning), as opposed to six hours in 1965. Of course, you can’t compare apples to oranges – there are more single parent homes today, the cost of living has skyrocketed and a multitude of other factors play into the changing amount of time spent in the kitchen.

Baby Boomers (59+) spend an average of 62 minutes daily on dinner/supper; Gen X (43 – 58) spend 48 minutes; Millennials (27 – 42) spend 35; and Gen Z (18 – 26) clock in at only 22 minutes. (I don’t know how they survive.)

Back in the 1960s and ‘70s, there weren’t prepared salad kits or decent frozen entrees or vegetables. Frozen dinners tasted like cardboard and were about as difficult to chew. The frozen food section of our grocery store was fairly small and held mostly ice cream and novelty treats. The multiple aisles of today with their automatic lighting systems, shiny glass doors and hundreds of items from pizza to gelato would overwhelm a time traveler from that era.

In many ways, cooks and bakers today have the best of both worlds – the convenience and variety of elevated food products, more produce available year-round and faster methods of cooking and baking. And just as important is the gift of hindsight, treasuring old-fashioned ways of meal prep and togetherness that gives today’s foodie a distinct advantage over yesterday’s home chefs.

The recent surge in more meals eaten at home is, I believe, not just driven by economics but a longing to reclaim an aspect of our past. For millennia, family life has centered on both celebrations and day-to-day mealtimes. These strengthen family bonds in ways nothing else can. I know many who are making the decision to spend at least one mealtime together; it’s a movement that I believe can only have a positive effect on families as a whole.

Life can get crazy and some days getting food on the table may consist of slinging a sack of burgers and fries on the table. Even if some days are like that, at least you can spend time together at your own table instead of eating in a public place or in the car.

Something I learned the hard way – if you’re eating more than three meals a week in your car, either you or your kids may be overcommitted. It’s still early in the year – be kind to yourself and your family and rethink your schedule. What may look like fun (signing Susie up for another sport or Tommy for another practice) may be a lot less fun when it comes to actually trying to make it to all those extras.

Replace running “to and fro,” as Dad used to say, with “pass the parmesan, please” and enjoy sitting still with your family for an hour instead. You might laugh a lot more together, because you are together.

by Tamra M. Bolton